Fall

Friday, February 26, 2010

JUST STOP

Do things ever get to you the point where you just want to find a quiet, secluded place where no one can find you EVER and just stay there - stay where its quiet and there is no talking and no thinking and no reminders of everything thats wrong with the world around you - when you just can't find one positive thought or one positive thing to say - when you want to scream JUST STOP, not to anyone in particular but just the bad path you seem to be on? Just stop dropping bricks onto my head one by one - just stop the negative tape recorder in my head playing nothing but bad messages - just stop the stupid merry go round that ceased being fun a LONG TIME ago and LET ME OFF!

I don't know why I felt compelled to write this except that its how I feel and I know I can't be the only one who ever feels this way. I think people can only take so much - can only be pushed so far until everything becomes like a battle to them and they start to push back - unless your one of those people that just throws in the towel. Im not one of those people - I don't ever wave the white flag (people that know me are probably laughing right about now). I think circumstances have just made me angry - being at the mercy of other people makes me angry and feeling like THIS battle, no matter how I fight it, I can't win - makes me angry.

Ok...people say this too shall pass, you guys made it through this same thing last year (duh maybe thats why Im so mad), that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger, you can throw cliches at it all day long but that fixes nothing, it doesn't make any of it easier and as much as I tell myself worry fixes NOTHING, to preach from my own advice - its is TEMPORARY - at the very bottom of it all I just want to say JUST STOP!

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